teenage angst... the meaning of life?

I changed the URL for the diary collective to TeenageDiaryCollective.tumblr.com

hello hello. So far my teenage diary collective is going swimmingly. (check out the original post here). I've already gotten some submissions which is both exciting and encouraging, and people already seem to be enjoying it so yay! Thanks to those of you who have submitted! If you haven't yet don't hesitate to do so! It can be anonymous if it's a personal entry and it's a fun way to spread your diary creativity and such. Feel free to help spread ze word via tweetin or blog postin or tumblrin or somethin.  (hiiiiiiiint). I also found this cool thing where people read their diary entries and it's really awesome and perfect and audible rather than tangible which is incredibly enjoyable and satisfying when you need some aesthetic assistance to your angstiest of days and when that Nirvana song just isn't doing the trick. Teenage Diary is kind of a homage to my love for journals and diaries; they are so mysterious and house so many unspoken secret thoughts, opinions, feelings, and ideas. Diaries are like the other half to a person, the parts of themselves they would never share with or expose to the world. They're like the holy grail of secrets and confessions and feelings and teen angst. 

Even though angst can suck I love feeling angsty purely for the experience of being an angsty teenager and how being in that very state of angst helps enable me to live vicariously through cool people in movies and TV shows, like Ivy (my favorite movie) and Lisa and Paulie. Sometimes being hormonal sucks but other times it's just great because it helps you to achieve the full experience of teendom as well as all its highs and lows, which I treasure, which is weird of me. I feel like being a teenager is the best time ever because of how it's this time to venture into new directions and take risks and be a freak or a geek and laugh too loud and get depressed and scream and shave your head and make out with guys you don't know the name of and spend all night going to random diners and spying on people with your best friend and running through fields yelling the lyrics to some song by Stevie Nicks and starting a band that never ends up rehearsing or performing and redecorating your room a thousand times over, each time to represent the new you that will inevitably change tomorrow. I just love that. I know I'm looking at this in a totally romanticized perspective, because some people are actually clinically depressed which isn't fun for the experience and is actually serious and horrible and not enjoyable in the slightest bit, but other times the roller coaster that is teendom, for me at least, is really exciting and fun even when I feel like crap.

to represent how concerts seem to be a right of passage for life and a huge part of teendom

to represent the importance of journals diaries in the lives of many teens

to represent that fun with friends is timeless

to represent hating society and being independent

to represent having fun at the beach

to represent that fabulosity of paul mccartney

to represent the importance and awesomeness of david bowie in one's life

to represent that slut shaming is wrong and that it's virtually impossible to actually be a slut

teenage diary

ATTENTION CITIZENS.
This is a very important post. I just started one of two collectives I'll be establishing within the fine old month of January. The one I just set up is called Teenage Diary (but the URL is teenage-journals.tumblr.com). It's similar to Teenage Bedroom, in the sense that any person can submit, but rather than bedrooms it's diary and journals entries. Entries can be posted anonymously if the author requests as such. I've been obsessed with diaries and journals for a while and I've always thought it interesting to have a huge collective full of diary and journal entries from teens (past and present) of the world. Entries can be written, collaged, drawn, or whatever. Entries can be song lyrics, poetry, love letters never sent, sticker montages, etc. I hope you all submit and follow and spread the word!! I'll have more info about my second collective soon.

***

resolutions for the new year:
1: take more risks!
2: be brave
3: have A LOT of fun
4: do well in school
5: save money
6: finish at least 10 of the books i've already started
7: stop procrastinating
8: blog more
9: take more photos of my outfits
10: take more photos in general!
11: establish my collective by the end of january
12: finish redecorating my room
13: make lots of art
14: do more creative things in my journals rather than just rants.
15: hang up my tea bag collection
16: get more masks for my mask collection
17: get some tarot cards!
18: live life and be happy!

these are two of my favorite entries from Minna's journals. She is an artist for Rookie!

this is a college-drawing I made a few days ago. I didn't draw the face, I just cut it out and taped it. I did do the designs though. I originally drew the black pen design, thinking I would cover the entire paper in it. But then I found the face drawing and thought it would look awesome with the design, and then I drew a colorful design around it. It's supposed to represent insanity... I was thinking of putting a quote from Alice in Wonderland:

The Mad Hatter: Have I gone mad? 
[Alice checks Hatter's temperature] 
Alice Kingsley: I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.

OR

putting this lyric-esque thing I wrote,

"Someone call a doctor, I think I'm going crazy. I think I'm going crazy. Somebody save me."

What do you think I should put?

PS: I just received in the mail The 1000 Journals Project, The Diary of Frida Kahlo, and Kurt Cobain's Journals. They are all incredibly fantastic and I'll be posting photos of them soon! Happy New Year!! 

just kids

Wow. Today I got an iPhone 4, and I feel like a new woman! I was in desperate need of an update from my old phone from 8th grade, and since nobody wants iPhone 4's since the iPhone 5 has come out, iPhone 4's are being sold for spankin good deals! It's white and as beautiful as a fluffy marshmallow in hot chocolate on a cold rainy day with the absence of sun and positivity gleaming from the sky. I love it.

I'm currently sitting down, refraining from studying for my finals by dousing my taste buds in Ibarra hot cocoa as well as Cheez-Its, the world's finest cheese-cracker creation. The hot cocoa's delicious sweetness is too tempting- I can't wait for it to cool, can't wait for the marshmallows to melt into a gooey concoction; I have to drink it right now. My tongue may be burnt, but I am satisfied.

I pick up a Cheez-It and begin to chew, licking the cheese powder from by thumb and forefinger. Dang. That's good.

As technology evolves, I remain the same. A kid.

Just Kids.

Photography by Robert Mapplethorpe. He is so cool.

Robert Mapplethorpe

Robert Mapplethorpe and Patti Smith

Robert Mapplethorpe

Andy Warhol

two men.

just like, idk. something.

last year i used to try and dress so original and creatively. looking back at what i wore is just completely embarrassing. i was trying so hard to be seen as the person i wanted to be seen as. now i like wearing hot pants and cropped turtle necks if i feel like it, and i like just being happy with my body and stuff and embracing what i actually look like. this isn’t to say i’m totally happy with how i look all the time, but i also acknowledge that it’s okay to look the way i do and i’m happy that i don’t look average and that i have a unique face and such. i don’t really care about trying to dress all unique anymore, i just dress in whatever i feel like wearing. i want to be unique and original, but am i still being original and unique if i have to try and be original and unique? like, how does that even work? like, is a person who has to try to be creative actually creative? and is the act of attempting to be creative truly creative? i think everyone is creative.

i think i may dye my hair soon.

****Also: IMPORTANT OMG READ. I think it would be totally amazing to create a journal/zine/book thing that consisted of journal/diary entries from tons of people. Basically, people send me their diary entries (scan then email), then i put said diary entries into a book of some sort, viola, an awesome thing people can read. if you are potentially interested email me at stylewandering@gmail.com for details because i'm too tired to eloquently explain my vision.

i really want this. does anybody know where I can get something like this?

wow this jacket is too good. frida kahlo is my life and this girl just completely killed me. now i have to go recreate this. or pay someone to recreate it...

badassery

So, summer is coming to an end. It's very sad, but strangely, I am somewhat excited for school. Despite the fact that my science teacher is said to be mean, unapproachable, impossible, and the creator of 20+ page study guides for finals, I have a feeling that this is going to be a really great year. I've just been feeling all inspired and cool lately, you know, just hella swaggie and shizz, and I think I was meant to live the life of a character in Pretty in Pink, or, like... The Virgin Suicides. Mainly just aesthetically. I've also been attempting to channel the mindset of Madonna when I'm in need of a boost of fearlessness. And also, I think I'm really beginning to figure out my style. Last year my style could be summed up as ugly. I've been getting really obsessed with two piece sets. ALLOW ME TO EXPLAIN FOR THOSE WHO DO NOT UNDERSTAND. When I say two piece set, I mean a skirt and a top, of the same pattern. The skirt is semi high waisted, and the top is semi cropped. So basically a dress cut in half!! I have yet to obtain one of these, so I'm planning on going thrifting tomorrow to find some cute dresses I can DIY to make into my dream outfit. I'm also in desperate need of some denim jackets that I can DIY. After seeing this amazing photo diary on Rookie by Eleanor, I just need to quench my desire to create something BEAUTIFUL that I can WEAR made of DENIM. I'm gonna be one cool lookin' girl this year, with my Bikini Kill jacket, my Madonna mindset, and my two piece attire.

Feel free to admire this rad iPad photo quality. It really captured the beauty of my diary. I decorated my diary myself, and personally took it upon myself to write my motto: LIFE IS LIFE, in glitter glue of various colors, and then add some plastic gems and butterflies for aesthetic pleasure. I have been kind of a diary addict lately, and I've been writing non-stop. My mind is usually racing every way POSSIBLE with different ideas and thoughts and outfits to wear and things to do and stories to write and art to make, and I'm always jumping back and forth between every thought and idea, which kind of makes me go insane, so I need to write it all down so that I don't worry about forgetting any of it. I also tend to write about worries/boys/music/amazing days/schemes, etc. A lot of people, like my friend Maya who I met at the Rookie meet up who is to my right in the photo of me in my BK jacket (she is wearing a yellow collar), have the most BEAUTIFUL, AMAZING diaries/journals with all these awesome collages and artwork and prettiness and shit. Mine is mainly just pages and pages of words, but I like it like that. I tend to hoard stuff, too, like the other day I saved all the wrappers from my tootsie pops, and I decided to cut 'em up and make a cool collage in my journal, including my favorite Frida Kahlo quote, "I paint flowers so they will not die," which I will probably write on my next diary/journal. I think my blog is also like my diary in someway, but it's more so ideas/inspiration and stuff I want to share with people and get opinions on, rather than the more personal sterf that I wouldn't want strangers to know, if you get my drift. 

My FUCKING AWESOME Bikini Kill jacket via Etsy. I wore it to the Rookie Mag meetup, it was a great way to make friends. I think Tavi may have inadvertently started a cult... but it's okay because this is like, a healthy, flower crown making, glitter throwing cult. We aren't creepy or forcefully religious or anything. This super girl named Erika took the photo, but I can't remember her blog or Tumblr in order to credit her.

1. Go For It by Hot Sundae

2. Edge of Seventeen by Stevie Nicks

3. Lucky Star by Madonna

4. Make Me a Believer by Patty Smyth

5. Butterflies by Sia

6. True Colors by Cyndi Lauper

7. No Mistakes by Patty Smyth

8. Dreaming by Blondie

9. The Girl You Lost to Cocaine by Sia

10. Mercy by Duffy

diary, hello. handwriting is awesome. and i like poetic things, and bedrooms.

*Nevermind, Kurt Cobain's suicide note isn't here.

Tracey Emin quilt

TVS

*written by E. E Cummings

I think Kurt Cobain wrote this.

journals rock

Currently busying myself with procrastination and blogs. It's funny how everyday I say to myself, "Eva, when you get home from school, you will not wait to do your homework. You will just do it." And yet, every day, I come home, and suddenly it's seven o'clock and I've waisted four hours of visual internet excitement via blogs/youtube/magazines/tumblr/facebook, and all I want to do is sleep and eat and burp and not do my homework. This really has to stop.

I'm always able to get my homework done, but my rate of exhaustion during the time it takes me to finish my homework drives me perpetually insane. I've been feeling so stressed out lately and fatigued and just so anxious for summer/freedom/fun. I like school, but at the same time, everyone needs a break after a while. I commend those kids who can tolerate those year round schools. I don't think I'd last.

Anyway, I've been writing like a psycho lately in my journals, which I love. I actually just finished one yesterday that I'd been writing in since 2008! I started writing in a new one today, and it feels like I'm telling a stranger my innermost thoughts and secrets. Funny how you can get so attached an inanimate object. My new journal has a cool cat on it, and it's small and square. My grandma and grandpa gave it to me a few Hanukkahs ago, and it has some random blurbs from 2008 and some crappy skirt drawings and shitty Hebrew written in it.

All my cool journals. The top left (orange) is the journal I just finished. The one with the white heart to the right is where I record inspiration/lists of cool people/things/blog ideas/fashion stuff. The small cat one is the one I'm currently writing in. It has tons of embarrassing crap from 5th grade that I "forgot" to photograph.The quality of the photos all suck. I know. I can't wait to start writing in the Beatle's journal I got at Walgreens. It's the one right below the cat one with the circles.

Who wouldn't wanna wear this bad boy.

I was even a great writer then, I know. My articulation and clarity was just unfathomable.

This post is short, but I just felt like doing a brief post on my day/feelings and stuff.

Do you keep a journal/diary?