psychedelic moods

FINALS ARE OVER I'M A FREE WOMAN. I feel as though I've just been granted the right to vote. Wow. This is just the epitome of freedom guys.

I currently have four zits. Whatever. I don't like wearing foundation it's the equivalent of wearing a mask to me. It makes me feel weird. I feel like zits are the same thing as underwear lines. Everyone tries to hide them even though it's something everyone universally shares. I don't care if my underwear line is showing... it's not like it's shocking or surprising I'm wearing underwear. I'm pretty sure most of the world does too.

I could not become anything; neither good nor bad; neither a scoundrel nor an honest man; neither a hero nor an insect. And now I am eking out my days in my corner, taunting myself with the bitter and entirely useless consolation that an intelligent man cannot seriously become anything, that only a fool can become something.
Fyodor Dostoevsky, Notes from Underground

I am getting so restless with life. These people came to give a talk at my health class a few weeks ago. They gave us a survey thing to fill out. We basically checked boxes and at the end we were categorized into varying elements. I was a fire. That means I am energetic, feisty, loud, outspoken, adventurous, etc. I definitely identify as those things but I can also be very quiet and introverted. I'm actually really introverted about how I feel, but I guess that's to compensate for being so extroverted about everything else. I actually really disliked how these two women came in and started telling me and my classmates who we were and what element we fell under. They didn't know us, they didn't know the experiences we'd been through or anything. I just felt it was incredibly rude and abrasive of them to start telling us who we were, especially since we're still figuring it out ourselves. 

I am just craving adventure and experience and excitement. I've been so swamped with school so I can actually have a future, but it's just frustrating that I don't always have the time to just have fun and go do the things I wanna do. Like go sit on a roof all night and look at the stars. Just simple things like that...

This photo symbolizes a never-ending road of adventure and experience I plan to discover and venture through at some point in my life. It'll be a jungle, with vines and leaves and wild animals, and it'll be perfect.

I like these pictures.


  1. Ah those surveys. They don't tell anythign about you, you can't just say, "hey, she checked this one and this one and now she's that kind of person!" What do they think they are?! Every person is completely individual and this is pretty much shit (those surveys).

    Anyways, your pictures are so PERFECT! I love your writing and your thoughts about the world and you are great as hell( more like heaven than hell, actually.)! <33


  2. "Introverted about how I feel" that is so me. I guess I'm mostly an extrovert but I totally get what you said there. It's like I can't really comprehend feelings and shit, and just like "?". does that rubbish sentence makes sense at all?
    But yeah I understand what said about the survey thing, people aren't black and white. some parts of us are black and some are white, some are like grey and some are like cloudy and you can't really see what it is, you know.

  3. I can so relate to this!! Sometimes I feel like I must have some sort of disorder or something, because I can be so loud and opinionated one moment then at another I don't want to talk to anybody. And it's not 'hormones' or 'being a teen'. I went to a naturopath once and he told me he was going to 'talk to my soul', which I didn't really have anything against because I'm a pretty spiritual person and I was like yeah cool whatever go on talk to my soul. But then he started saying 'you are this way and this is how your life is and this is what your soul feels' and I was like whoa back up buddy how do you even know that?? And some of what he said was not how I felt at all. And I felt so invaded! Like he had come into me or something and inspected and judged what was inside of me? It was so weird.
    By the way I love how you likened having pimples to an underwear line. I've had skin problems since I was like 12 and one thing that makes me really uncomfortable is when people don't look you in the eye, even when you're talking straight to them, because of what's on your face. So thank you so much for this!! That's such an awesome way to look at it.

  4. I get how you feel, sometimes I feel so preoccupied with school I just stop and think why am I even in school. I hate when people tell me I'm really quiet, because I'm actually really loud (when I'm around people I like or feel comfortable with). I guess feel like how can you just assume I'm quiet, you don't know me and I'm probably not talking because I don't want to or don't like you. I hope you go on a suppa cool adventure soon, and thanks for sharing your thoughts!


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