teenage diary

ATTENTION CITIZENS.
This is a very important post. I just started one of two collectives I'll be establishing within the fine old month of January. The one I just set up is called Teenage Diary (but the URL is teenage-journals.tumblr.com). It's similar to Teenage Bedroom, in the sense that any person can submit, but rather than bedrooms it's diary and journals entries. Entries can be posted anonymously if the author requests as such. I've been obsessed with diaries and journals for a while and I've always thought it interesting to have a huge collective full of diary and journal entries from teens (past and present) of the world. Entries can be written, collaged, drawn, or whatever. Entries can be song lyrics, poetry, love letters never sent, sticker montages, etc. I hope you all submit and follow and spread the word!! I'll have more info about my second collective soon.

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resolutions for the new year:
1: take more risks!
2: be brave
3: have A LOT of fun
4: do well in school
5: save money
6: finish at least 10 of the books i've already started
7: stop procrastinating
8: blog more
9: take more photos of my outfits
10: take more photos in general!
11: establish my collective by the end of january
12: finish redecorating my room
13: make lots of art
14: do more creative things in my journals rather than just rants.
15: hang up my tea bag collection
16: get more masks for my mask collection
17: get some tarot cards!
18: live life and be happy!

these are two of my favorite entries from Minna's journals. She is an artist for Rookie!

this is a college-drawing I made a few days ago. I didn't draw the face, I just cut it out and taped it. I did do the designs though. I originally drew the black pen design, thinking I would cover the entire paper in it. But then I found the face drawing and thought it would look awesome with the design, and then I drew a colorful design around it. It's supposed to represent insanity... I was thinking of putting a quote from Alice in Wonderland:

The Mad Hatter: Have I gone mad? 
[Alice checks Hatter's temperature] 
Alice Kingsley: I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.

OR

putting this lyric-esque thing I wrote,

"Someone call a doctor, I think I'm going crazy. I think I'm going crazy. Somebody save me."

What do you think I should put?

PS: I just received in the mail The 1000 Journals Project, The Diary of Frida Kahlo, and Kurt Cobain's Journals. They are all incredibly fantastic and I'll be posting photos of them soon! Happy New Year!! 

diary, hello. handwriting is awesome. and i like poetic things, and bedrooms.

*Nevermind, Kurt Cobain's suicide note isn't here.

Tracey Emin quilt

TVS

*written by E. E Cummings

I think Kurt Cobain wrote this.

summer is upon us!

Summer is here! I can actually SMELL IT. The air in my room SMELLS LIKE SUMMER. Smells like teen spirit, eh?

My summer plans will most likely consist of photographing strangers and friends, the consumption of junk food, compiling disposable cameras, writing, reading, wandering, and sitting in fields at night with my chums! What fun!

School is officially over, freedom!

Freshman year was okay. I made like, 2 or 3 good friends, but I didn't really connect with many people, which is kind of a bummer. It's kind of forced me to be more independent, and I've definitely learned more about myself, and delved deeper into my creative side while developing new interests. I think I'm definitely more of that independent loner-y type at school who has friends and can have conversations with a lot of people, but just doesn't really fit in. I don't really feel like I fit in. And who knows, maybe I actually do fit in, but as of now, I feel like I don't really fit in. I just feel like nobody in my grade really enjoys the pass times I enjoy, like rapping and thrifting and screaming and reading books in fields and dancing around neighborhoods and going to strange concerts and talking awkwardly and making strange noises and pretending to be foreign at Starbucks and doing dances for money and food in public places. And who knows, maybe everybody actually enjoys doing these things, but nobody is vocal or expressive about it so we're all just secretly dying of boredom. I feel like I've been semi-introverted this year. It's just so weird transitioning from middle school, where you feel super comfortable in front of everyone, to high school and an overload of uncharted territory. I feel like I've kind of been withholding bits and pieces of my personality... because I want to be accepted? Perhaps...? Perhaps not? But then, at the end of the day, I'd rather be myself than be anyone else, which is definitely good. But then when I'm at school, I just feel so uncomfortable. I feel kind of ashamed that I get like that, that I turn into this semi-self conscious person at school, but I think everybody kind of goes through that. I guess it's human. I think part of the reason I'm a little reluctant to fully express myself and just be 100% me, is also in part because I'm still not really sure who I am. Which is such a cliché, but it just ties back to that "teenage discovery" crap. I guess the one thing all teenagers have in common is the fact that we're all still trying to figure out who we are. Hopefully I figure it out this summer.

teen spirit in a mundane fashion

I have been in such a terrible mood. I've seriously come home everyday from school and just wanted to crawl into my bed and cry. This makes absolutely no sense, considering usually my school days are decent. People are nice to me, I talk to my friends, make new friends, laugh, get good grades, and then I just get into these horrible mood funks and life sucks. I feel so selfish when I'm in those "ihatemylifeleavemealoneijustwanttocrywhydoesntanyonelikemeifeelsoalone" moods, because I feel like I really have nothing to be unhappy about. I have a really good life, and yet I'm still unhappy... WHAT IS THIS? I suppose this is most likely just the so called "average teenage girl mood swings" but it just SUCKS. I want to be happy, and yet I feel more unhappy, than happy? It's just so weird and life is so emotional and complicated even though my life really isn't complicated at all and is actually quite simple compared to most of the shitty stuff people go through.

Here is a playlist I made to help express teen angst and longing. I sound so mundane, it's kind of pathetic. I've seriously been so boring though lately. The reason I haven't posted any outfits recently is because I've been too tired to dress decently in the mornings. I'm losing my motivation, this is not good! I need to get some new clothes to help inspire my obsession for dressing.

I'm in the mood to post some photos, so here are some that have been on my desktop for ages. I've lost most of the sources, so if you know the source just let me know.

screen shot from The Heathers, four unknowns, poem by E. E. Cummings, Tim Walker, picture from Where the Wild Things Are, unknown, unknown.

I wish my life was like these photographs, all pretty and interesting and mysterious and quirky and stuff.