summer is upon us!

Summer is here! I can actually SMELL IT. The air in my room SMELLS LIKE SUMMER. Smells like teen spirit, eh?

My summer plans will most likely consist of photographing strangers and friends, the consumption of junk food, compiling disposable cameras, writing, reading, wandering, and sitting in fields at night with my chums! What fun!

School is officially over, freedom!

Freshman year was okay. I made like, 2 or 3 good friends, but I didn't really connect with many people, which is kind of a bummer. It's kind of forced me to be more independent, and I've definitely learned more about myself, and delved deeper into my creative side while developing new interests. I think I'm definitely more of that independent loner-y type at school who has friends and can have conversations with a lot of people, but just doesn't really fit in. I don't really feel like I fit in. And who knows, maybe I actually do fit in, but as of now, I feel like I don't really fit in. I just feel like nobody in my grade really enjoys the pass times I enjoy, like rapping and thrifting and screaming and reading books in fields and dancing around neighborhoods and going to strange concerts and talking awkwardly and making strange noises and pretending to be foreign at Starbucks and doing dances for money and food in public places. And who knows, maybe everybody actually enjoys doing these things, but nobody is vocal or expressive about it so we're all just secretly dying of boredom. I feel like I've been semi-introverted this year. It's just so weird transitioning from middle school, where you feel super comfortable in front of everyone, to high school and an overload of uncharted territory. I feel like I've kind of been withholding bits and pieces of my personality... because I want to be accepted? Perhaps...? Perhaps not? But then, at the end of the day, I'd rather be myself than be anyone else, which is definitely good. But then when I'm at school, I just feel so uncomfortable. I feel kind of ashamed that I get like that, that I turn into this semi-self conscious person at school, but I think everybody kind of goes through that. I guess it's human. I think part of the reason I'm a little reluctant to fully express myself and just be 100% me, is also in part because I'm still not really sure who I am. Which is such a cliché, but it just ties back to that "teenage discovery" crap. I guess the one thing all teenagers have in common is the fact that we're all still trying to figure out who we are. Hopefully I figure it out this summer.

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