outside the lines

Why do some folks feel that transgender people need to disclose their history and their genitalia and non transgender people do not? When you first meet someone and they are clothed, you never know exactly what that person looks like. And when you first meet someone, you never know that person’s full history. Why do only some people have to describe themselves in detail—and others do not? Why are some nondisclosures seen as actions and others utterly invisible? Actions. Gwen Araujo was being herself, openly and honestly. No, she did not wear a sign on her forehead that said “I am transgender, this is what my genitalia look like.” But her killers didn’t wear a sign on their foreheads saying, “We might look like nice high school boys, but really, we are transphobic and are planning to kill you.” That would have been a helpful disclosure."
-Dylan Vade, San Francisco Transgender Law Center

I literally always wonder about this. Like, why do the "minorities" of society; the people who are different, or "beside the norm," have to justify and explain and clarify who they are, what gender they identify as (if at all), whom they are attracted to, etc. To me that's inequality. 

And why do those of us who do fit "the norm" not have to explain ourselves at all? One day I will come out to my parents and say "Mom, Dad, I like boys." They'll probably be confused, but I mean, if gay and lesbian and other non-straight people have to come out, why don't straight people need to? Like, why does anyone have to come out at all. Why does anyone have to explain why they got gender reconstructive surgery, or why they didn't, or why they were born into the wrong body or why said boy is attracted to other boys. Like, WTF?! Why is it wrong to be a person? Is there a right way to be a person? Is there a right person to be? Are we all striving to become the right person; the person society views as correct and pure and justified? Why do some people see being gay as wrong? Transgender as wrong? Who decided there was a correct way to live, and whom the correct person to be is? And why do those who are not born "the right person," i.e. the right person being the person declared by society as fit and acceptable, subjected to having to justify, explain, and defend whom they are? It's infuriating and wrong. And sadly, I think religion has a lot to do with this ignorance. I think religion can be very powerful and very positive, and I think religion is important, but it can also be the source for destruction and disunity, as can many other things. I think the world can be very sad. I just wish religion didn't dictate or declare how society should function, and whom those within a society should be. I don't think anyone should dictate that. I just wish everybody could be happy and accepted for being whom they are and not have to worry about being ostracized if they are different.

gay pride parade, San Francisco 1960s


  1. I agree. This was very well written.

  2. Made me ponder about the whole subject, I totes agree. I have never thought about it like that.


  3. I totally agree. One of my best friends is bi and some how my whole entire school knows. One day we were walking together with our arms hooked. I noticed a few kids giving us the 'nasty' look, I guess that they probably thought we were a couple or so. They all judge too soon , which is really annoying because my friend is really nice and just like everybody else.

  4. Nicely worded, I agree

  5. This is post is very well written! I love it, and I totally agree. I've been thinking the same thing recently, and I stumbled upon a quote that went something like, "It's not the religion that is sexist, it's the people in it that's sexist" which I think somehow can be applied to this situation. After that spiritual month on Rookie, I began to realise that sometimes religion can be misinterpreted and people go towards the extreme side and claim that "religion forbids it" even though it's NOT entirely true. But i don't know, I might be wrong but that's just what I think.


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