where are the butterflies?

A mish-mosh of my thoughts. Of my brain.

I love butterflies. They are just so simple and beautiful and easy and nice and free. Disgusted by caterpillars... yet a lover of butterflies? The world is a sad place.

SMILE! You're alive!

Poop.

Haven't worn a crown in a while.... a symbol of my seemingly increasing "outfit insecurity?" I hope not. I need to be brave!

The moment when I need to  pee  poop but I'm too lazy to get up.

I feel like life should be easier. I wish the stress and angst and anxiety wasn't a factor in growing up, but at the same time I feel like it's a necessity in order to fully mature and become smarter/cooler/wiser/more awesome. It seems unfair that you're intelligence is tested at school. I think the world is a pretty fucked up place, so I'm pretty dang thankful I live in such a pretty, somewhat surrealistic city. It always feel magical, overflowing with aesthetic pleasures that seem to reference my favorite movies, TV shows, songs, albums, and inspiring people.

Final exams don't test whether a student has learned a semesters worth of material, they test a students ability to memorize all the information they've learned in a semester. STUUUUPIIIIIIDDD.

It's weird how light and shadows transmit images to our MINDS.

Psychedelia.

My bedroom feels empty of a teenage presence.

Those of us who have a deep desire to live in another decade always seem to romanticize all the shit that took place. Like, the 60s, we all love the 60s, but do we love the oppression and objectification of women? Um, no. But we choose to ignore that it was there, ignore it's presence. It's pretty fucked up, but that aspect of "looking through rose colored glasses" is present in everything. We don't want to acknowledge the bad, upsetting crap, so we ignore it. It's a pretty bad habit, actually. You can't forget the horrible stuff that went on in days/months/years/decades past. Because you need to be aware of the horrible stuff, in order to grow, mature, learn, and appreciate all the greatness that goes on, and it's important to remember. You can't ignore the fact that the Holocaust happened, and that innocent people were MURDERED and KILLED and SCARRED EMOTIONALLY AS WELL AS PHYSICALLY. You can't ignore it, and you can't pretend it's not there, or that it didn't happen, because those people who went through that crap deserve to be remembered, and their suffering deserves to be recognized, which sounds weird, but it's true. They suffered so you could live a better life. The Holocaust was horrible and evil and makes me want to cry when I really think about it/read about it, but in some ways, didn't it almost have to happen? Or didn't something like it HAVE to happen? Because if it didn't, or if something like it didn't happen, we probably wouldn't have the laws that protect us against that stuff today. We all romanticize the stuff we don't want to be there, or the stuff we don't want to hear. We choose to ignore the stuff that upsets us, or convince ourselves it's less of an issue. Even in small things, like that snarky comment you said to your friend; you feel guilty, but you convince yourself they didn't hear, or they didn't care, you romanticize the moment so you can feel better. This ends it on a weird note... pretty narcissistic.

Nuns are pretty cool. They just intrigue me. Especially those awesome rebel nuns.

I think my style is gravitating toward a soft/whimsical/fairy-esque feel, which is bothering me? I feel like my style is.... labeling me? Is this weird? I just don't want to LOOK like a soft little bubblegum fairy. But at the same time, everything I put on just SCREAMS FAIRY. I like it, but I also don't...

riot grrrl vibes part 1

I love Riot Grrrl. Like, I seriously LOVE Riot Grrrl. I started getting into feminism this year/my first year of high school/freshman year, and I've learned that feminism in general is just really confusing. You have those hardcore feminists who get totally peeved off when the male gender holds doors for them, and then I start to think "wait, if I'm a feminist, does that mean I have to get peeved when the male gender holds doors for me?!"(btw note to self, the answer is no) and then you have those feminists who claim to be feminists but don't really seem to be feminists, and I start to wonder "can I still be a feminist if I just sit there and do nothing when males/women/humans in general put down/objectify/diminish/trivialize my girlitude?" and then you have the feminists who know where/what they stand for and I'm just like "DAMN, I'd love to be you." and then you have the confused feminist, which is me! So I guess this series of posts in basically going to help me explore and define my inner feminist a little bit more. So yeah. I have about 6 billion Riot Grrrl inspired images via this tumblr that I love and consume daily, so I've decided to break up my Riot Grrrl vibes into different vibe posts/themes and stuff! I'm very excited. I think I'm going to get a Riot Grrrl tattoo at some point in my life, because tattoos are cool, and clearly, I love riot grrrl.

(does anyone know how to get these god damn pictures the same width? without having to deal with the html crap? just to somehow get the images to ALWAYS have the same width?)

dusk

Dusk is definitely my favorite time of the 24 hour time frame. I love it because everything looks faded/muted/quiet/eery/nostalgic/thevirginsuicides-y/peaceful/perfect/THE BEST.

I took some cool (yes, cool) pictures of my backyard that are moderately crappy, but COOL. The shitty quality was INTENTIONAL, let me tell you. INTENTIONAL. I was going for all the vibes your receiving. Vibes of like, you know... high quality artsiness. I then took some pictures of the wonderful clutter living happily underneath my window, which consists of VHS tapes via my childhood that I love and plan to rewatch soon, my Gibson guitar that my dad gave me from when HE WAS MY AGE and which I seriously plan to relearn how to play soon, along with my sea glass collection that is being stored in empty milk bottles. I wish all milk was sold in bottles rather than cartons. The bottles make me feel like I'm living the dream life of a girl from the 1960's, or like I'm in Bye Bye Birdy or the original Twilight Zone episodes or Harry Potter! And I love that super cool cream mustache you get when you decide to rebel and be badass and drink STRAIGHT OUT OF THE MILK BOTTLE and since bottled milk is HELLA authentic with the cream at the top and the bottle and the milk and stuff, life just rocks.

Also, I made a Pottermore when it first opened (YES, I was able to steal the clue answer from my friend and submit it and get early access it's really true i did and i'm a Gryffindor and i feel spectacular!) and it's THE BOMB. I finished the exploration of the first book in like, 2 days. I've literally been waiting HALF A YEAR meaning SIX MONTHS for the second book to be available for exploration. I can't be this patient. I just can't be. J.K Rowling/Soni and Co., get a move on or feel the wrath of my Liger and me. My username is Runestone209 so you should add me so we can party it up together.

PS: I'm going to start doing more outfit posts soon. I've just been feeling like my outfits have been extremely pathetic and not post/photograph worthy, so hopefully that changes soon meaning hopefully my outfits start unsucking so I can photograph them and my blog can look cooler.

barbie is alright!

I feel like Barbie is a really controversial topic. Her distorted body image and convoluted representation of beauty is extremely superficial... but at the same time, she is kind of a feminist all in her own with her extensive "be who you wanna be"motto, as in BE WHATEVER YOU FUCKING WANT is pretty inspiring, and really not as hostile as I just expressed it to be.

I used to despise Barbies, and I had this brash idea to create this collage of melted Barbie heads-that I would personally burn and destroy-to express the trivial conformities Barbies inflict upon society and young girls. Keep in mind, this was literally like, three months ago. Suddenly though, as in two days ago, my point of view on the entire subject has changed, most likely due to my never ending obsession with Barbie movies (ironic I know.) I'm currently watching this great Barbie movie via youtube that is the Barbie version of The Three Musketeers. It's pretty enticing, and while watching it, I realized just how many underlying themes of feminism there are buried into the movie. Barbie (I think her name is Karin in the movie) is determined to become a musketeer no matter how many men and women laugh at her and put her down. Her entire motto throughout the movie is something along the lines of, "True courage is following your dream no matter how many people put you down"which is a PRETTY DAMN COOL MOTTO if you ask me. Not only that, but in all Barbie movies, Barbie is always so confident (and even if she isn't, she doesn't try to change who she is) and true to herself, and it's just like DAMN #rolemodel.

PS: Here is what a life size version of Barbie would look like.

And here is me grimacing slightly and looking like a part fairy part Harry Potter lover part nomad part witch, all of which (HA WHAT A PUN) I am.

Skirt from Goodwill, tights from Forever 21, shoes from Cotton On, cardigan from Nordstroms, shirt from Hot Topic, DIY flower crown, star necklace from Amazon, other necklace from Claire's.

Back in Black

Audrey Hepburn, being one of my all time favorite people to ever walk the face of the earth, is the inspiration for Gap's new "Back in Black" skinny jean campaign. I'm really into finding the hidden meaning behind things that aren't really supposed to have any hidden meaning at all, so now I will talk about the hidden meaning behind this video.

I think there was definitely hidden meaning behind this video! I think this video, while it was promoting the new skinny jean, was also expressing that girls are free spirits, and society is trying to force us to be square, insecure, weak little frangtoids. I think this goes for people in general, i.e society tries to force all people to be square and flat and boring and idolize the trivial things in life. I love this video because it's saying "YO! Just dance if you want to! It's not about being pretty/sexy/cute/good at dancing, it's about expressing yourself and having fun and saying SCREW YOU SOCIETY."

I was going to post a photo of me in all black, but I don't have one and I'm feeling extremely tired/lazy. So here is a picture I took of a shell with some dirt in it for you to enjoy instead.

Have a swell Earth Day!

journals rock

Currently busying myself with procrastination and blogs. It's funny how everyday I say to myself, "Eva, when you get home from school, you will not wait to do your homework. You will just do it." And yet, every day, I come home, and suddenly it's seven o'clock and I've waisted four hours of visual internet excitement via blogs/youtube/magazines/tumblr/facebook, and all I want to do is sleep and eat and burp and not do my homework. This really has to stop.

I'm always able to get my homework done, but my rate of exhaustion during the time it takes me to finish my homework drives me perpetually insane. I've been feeling so stressed out lately and fatigued and just so anxious for summer/freedom/fun. I like school, but at the same time, everyone needs a break after a while. I commend those kids who can tolerate those year round schools. I don't think I'd last.

Anyway, I've been writing like a psycho lately in my journals, which I love. I actually just finished one yesterday that I'd been writing in since 2008! I started writing in a new one today, and it feels like I'm telling a stranger my innermost thoughts and secrets. Funny how you can get so attached an inanimate object. My new journal has a cool cat on it, and it's small and square. My grandma and grandpa gave it to me a few Hanukkahs ago, and it has some random blurbs from 2008 and some crappy skirt drawings and shitty Hebrew written in it.

All my cool journals. The top left (orange) is the journal I just finished. The one with the white heart to the right is where I record inspiration/lists of cool people/things/blog ideas/fashion stuff. The small cat one is the one I'm currently writing in. It has tons of embarrassing crap from 5th grade that I "forgot" to photograph.The quality of the photos all suck. I know. I can't wait to start writing in the Beatle's journal I got at Walgreens. It's the one right below the cat one with the circles.

Who wouldn't wanna wear this bad boy.

I was even a great writer then, I know. My articulation and clarity was just unfathomable.

This post is short, but I just felt like doing a brief post on my day/feelings and stuff.

Do you keep a journal/diary?

sixties nineties vibes

I wore this outfit last week. I really love it, because it surrounds me with this aura of 60s and 90s vibes, which I love considering the 1960s and the 1990s are my two favorite decades. The flannel that I used my incredible skill to fringe, was thrifted, and it reminds me SO MUCH of My So-Called Life, and even more so of Angela and her signature flannel attire. The dress is reminiscent of a 1960s style, and then my gold boots+lace tights+socks+skirt under dress (dress=see through, me=no spandex, skirt=dress not see through anymore, skirt=makes outfit even more wonderful) just make it more awesome than ever thought possible. Yeah, I know. I rock.

I'm actually currently rewatching My So-Called Life for the third-ish time. The show is just SO relatable and SO accurately demonstrates the tomfoolery that seems to constantly be dancing about inside the minds of teen girls. Not only that, but I'm absolutely hardcore in love with Ricki. He is such a sweet and beautiful person who deserves everything that he was deprived of, and more. Additionally, Ricki probably has the raddest vest collection I've ever seen, and I have a fetish for vests.

Thrifted flannel, thrifted boots by Dirty Laundry, Nordstrom skirt, Audrey 3+1 dress, Forever21 tights, American Apparel socks, Claire's necklace, Frida Kahlo earrings, random heart barrettes.